The time for adult children to speak with aging parents about estate planning is now--before cognitive decline or a medical emergency makes it more difficult, says a recent article from The Wall Street Journal, “Talking to Your Aging Parents About Money.” If your family never talks about money or difficult topics, you may encounter resistance. However, in the long run, these conversations serve many purposes, including reducing friction if adult children need to take over finances earlier than expected or when the time comes to manage their estate.
Cognitive decline can happen very quickly. Early conversations can also help protect parents from scams and help them maintain control of current and future finances. By gathering information in advance and knowing where key information is stored, establishing power of attorney or other legal rights, you’ll be prepared for emergencies.
Everyone, especially aging parents, needs a comprehensive estate plan that includes legal documents like a will, power of attorney, healthcare directives and, if applicable, trusts. If you have online accounts, also keep a list of digital assets, including logins, passwords and PINs. You’ll want to know where to find life insurance and long-term care insurance policies, bank statements, deeds, titles and recent tax returns.
A financial power of attorney lets a parent choose who will make financial decisions for them if they can’t do so themselves. This differs from a medical power of attorney, which lets another person make medical decisions.
If parents don’t have an estate plan, a gentle discussion about what could happen as a result is necessary. It may start with a family member or someone they know whose children had to go through a lot of cost and trouble to manage the estate. Focus the conversation on them and their needs so they understand your goal is to help them, not take away their independence.
This should be a conversation taking place over an extended period. Building comfort with these sensitive conversations may take time, especially if the family has never broached these matters before. Starting with monthly bills to be paid, then working up to larger topics, like end-of-life care, may be easier as everyone gets used to these discussions.
These conversations now include fraud and scams. Ask if parents have ever received a phone call, email, text, or letter with an urgent request for money or asking them to verify their identity with sensitive information like a Social Security or Medicare number. If they’ve fallen prey to a scammer, and this is quite common, check and secure their accounts, contact the major credit bureaus and report the incident to local law enforcement.
You may not agree with some or all your parents’ decisions, but if they have legal capacity and aren’t acting under duress, they are allowed to make decisions you might not like, including leaving assets in a manner you consider unacceptable. This isn't always easy for adult children. However, it must be respected and accepted.
Legacy One Law Firm, APLC is an estate planning and probate administration law firm in Los Angeles, California, serving families throughout the State. We help individuals and families establish living trusts, wills, powers of attorney, advance healthcare directives, and other essential estate planning documents designed to protect their loved ones and preserve their legacy. Schedule a quick and easy consultation with estate planning attorney Sedric E. Collins, Esq., or call 323-900-5450.
